Thursday, April 28th
Since I can't share any of my excitement with anyone yet, except Andy and the dogs, I have decided to write down my elated emotions/feelings/excitement/nervousness/joys of what's to come. It is true we are....
How it happened:
I am very fortunate to have a regular cycle and always knew when my monthly friend would visit. So I woke up Wednesday morning, thinking it was going to be there and it was not. We both had been under some stress with work, talking about this next step and thinking we were going to start trying next month (of which Andy was just notified he was going to be traveling for half of the "prime time", so I thought it was looking like another two months out until our official first try). So I thought maybe that was the factor of the non-existence period. Andy had just left for work and I thought, well maybe there is some far fetch chance that I could be pregnant (my mom has always told me they are swimming in the bathtub), so pulled out a dusty test that I had in the closet that my dear friend Erin had given me when they found out they were pregnant. Not having any directions, but thinking I knew what to do, I took it and immediately only saw one line, so threw it away. Almost embarrassed that I thought I could really be pregnant. I then took a shower and thought I should look at it again and pulled it out of the trash to see a very faint line crossing over the vertical line. That only seemed to confuse me more and began the spinning in my head. Over the past couple weeks I felt completely normal. Felt the normal premenstrual signs coming on, cramping, face breaking out, etc., so there was no way. Needing to get to work I dropped it and came in to find myself obsessing about it, secretly searching the internet, how to read an EPT test, can your lines be different colors, how do you know. Only to find out I took the test incorrectly and that the lines could be different saturation. So I left work over lunch to get a new test which I picked up at the ghetto CVS in town, knowing I'd see no one i knew there. All the while still thinking I was COMPLETELY getting my hopes up and obsessing over something like I do :). So I came home from work to Andy asking if I had started. I nonchalantly told him no and that I had taken a test of which he proceeded to get mad at me and only talk to our dogs for 20 minutes b/c they tell him everything. Yes, I admit I should of told him, but once again was afraid I was getting excited and internalizing about something that wasn't going to happen. So we talked and said that we would wake up tomorrow and take one since they say it's the best time and normally is when my friend comes along. Which leads me to today...the best day of my life...(so far that is :))
I got up at 6:15 to Andy calling my name to get out of bed cause he wanted to know. So I got up, thinking that my disappointment would come and that I would wake up from this dream. But also wanted it to come so we could know when we would start trying next month. So I did the usual and nothing...so testing time it was. So we took the test and then Andy said we had to go let the dogs out and make coffee while it marinated for two minutes. We both went downstairs and while he was outside with the dogs, I ran upstairs to take a peek in which there was the (+) glaring back at me. I think my heart started beating a million miles a minute. I ran downstairs to show Andy and he said, "Umm...honey I think you are pregnant...that's a plus...holy shit!" I started to cry, but still wasn't sure...I mean it was there, but could this really be true?
Still not knowing I decided to jump in my car and drive to Wallgreens to get another brand to make sure it was right. So I left the house, no bra, slippers, no brushed teeth, disgusting and drove to pick up another brand. All the while Andy was making his lunch :) Came home...pushed some out, laid the stick on the counter to find two bright lines starring at us.
It was real...!!! Two brands, three tests later.
I called my doctor on my way to work, excited to tell a stranger my news, to find a women on the other line telling me to call back when the offices opened. She must of had a bad morning.
Sunday, May 1st
So the realization of the matter is starting to set in. I have been feeling good...no real changes. The only thing I notice is werid cramping here and there, but overall I feel normal. Friday night Andy and I went to a late dinner at Fortune Wok and talked and talked about being pregnant. I think it hit Andy when we were going to bed. He said he laid there until 1:00 just thinking about our future and the amazing journey we are on. Saturday night we had our neighbor's surprise 50th b-day that we had committed to, which consisted of taking a party bus to the Argosy casino for a night on the town. Obviously not drinking, we did the fill the can up with water trick and faked drink the whole night. I did taste my first O'Douls and it wasn't too bad. Might be having another one or two of those in the next couple weeks to avoid telling anyone our news.
I went to the store yesterday to get healthy food and bought everything in sight. It's amazing how quickly your mentality changes once you know you are providing for someone else. I got home with a trunk full of groceries and a refrigerator packed more full than ever.
I never realized how hard it was going to be not telling anyone. It is such incredible news that you want to share with the ones you love. Yesterday I was at Emily's baby shower and just sitting there thinking, that is going to be me later this year. Oh WOW!! I really cannot wait to share the news with our families. I keep thinking about how we are going to tell them and when. I would like to try to wait for a few more weeks, but I also don't think we can and want to share the news. I keep thinking about how excited everyone is going to be and their expressions. I'm not sure anyone really knows that we were there or going to try this soon, so the shock factor will definitely take place.
What I'm most excited about today - To share the news with our family!
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